All I Want For Christmas
by BethSHeartbeat
Summary: 'Christmas is the time of year to tell people how you really feel' When Max's mum reminds Max that he promised that he and Zoe would spend Christmas at hers, alarm bells start ringing.
1. Chapter 1

"Mum, I'm busy." Max groaned internally as he answered the phone to his mother. Saying he was busy was a complete lie but that wasn't something which he wished to tell Greta Miller.

"Well I won't be long, I'm just ringing to check that you and Zoe are still coming up here for Christmas." Alarm bells started ringing in his head, he vaguely remembered promising his mum that they'd visit at Christmas during their wedding day. Despite Robyn's nagging, he still hadn't told his mum about the end of his marriage mostly because he didn't want to hear her say 'I told you so' but partially because he wasn't sure whether it was really over.

"Oh, erm yeah of course we will be. Right, my shift is about to start so I'll speak to you later mum."

"At 11:14?"

"Bye mum." He hung up the phone, ignoring his mum's comment about the time as she clearly knew he was lying. Max immediately got up out of bed and threw on a pair of jeans and a top that was lying on his bedroom floor that looked clean.

"Max it's your day off, I thought we were going out for lunch." Robyn called as her step-brother came running down the stairs and was now hunting around the living room looking for something.

"There's been a change of plan. I need to get to the hospital." Max told her. "Have you seen my wallet?" He asked once he'd searched down the sofa.

"Yeah, it's in the kitchen and are they short staffed again?"

"Something like that." Max offered in the way of an explanation before he left the house and run out to the car that he named Kylie.

…

"I thought it was your day off." Lofty commented as Max walked through the hospital doors.

"It is, I have something I need to deal with though. Is Zoe in?" He asked casually, as he looked around.

"She's just lost a patient in resus, she said she was taking her lunch early so your best bet is her office, or sometimes when you're not here she sits in your cupboard." Lofty admitted, having found Zoe leaving his cupboard every time Max had a day off.

"Okay, I'll head up now."

"Max, where's your uniform?" Connie asked, a slightly angry tone to her voice that had been present since she'd accidently admitted sleeping with Jacob to everyone else.

"I'm not actually working today." Max told her, and then watched as Connie just walked off. He continued his walk up to his cupboard, pretending that he'd left something in there the day before.

Max placed his hand down on the handle, but paused slightly as he heard Zoe's gentle singing coming through the door. It was the song that she always sung when she was feeling lost and useless, for a moment he was unsure whether to interrupt her but something in his heard told him that he had too.

"Zoe?" Max asked as he entered the room to find her sitting on the chair in the corner of the room, her head in her hands but she stopped singing the moment she heard Max's voice.

"Oh erm, I was just looking for a lightbulb." She said suddenly as she jumped up, quickly wiping the tears away from her eyes as she turned to the drawers in front of her.

"Zoe stop." Max told her softly as he stepped forward and rested his hand on her arm. She visibly calmed at his touch, but panic soon arose in her eyes as she turned to face him.

"Don't worry, I'm okay."

"No you're not. What's wrong? Lofty said you'd just lost a patient in resus." Max asked, but Zoe started tearing up again. Instinctively Max pulled her into his arms, so that her head was resting in the crook under his neck.

"I just feel so useless Max, this isn't me but I feel like I'm not the same person and everything's falling apart."

"You're still you, you just need to take some time to remember who that is. This is where I come in, and just listen to me before you refuse straight away."

"Why do I feel like I'm not going to like this? We both know that I'm not going to say no to you though Max." Zoe said sadly.

"Maybe listen to what it is before you say that. Will you come and stay at mums with me for Christmas?"

"You haven't told her?" Zoe asked, a bit of hope filling her heart.

"No, I couldn't. It's only a couple of days, a week at most. Obviously you don't have to but I'd appreciate it if you would." Max began waffling, telling her that they'd have to pretend to still be together and he wouldn't let his mum say anything bad to Zoe.

"Yes." She finally answered, when Max looked back at her shocked she opened her mouth to speak again. "I hardly have people queueing up to spend Christmas with me and I'm not sure I could stand another with Dylan and Dervla. Anyway, even if we are just friends, it'd be good to spend some time with you." She told him honestly.

"Okay good."


	2. Chapter 2

*23rd December*

"Well I'll see you all after Christmas, have a good one and do not touch anything under the tree until at Christmas day." Max told them as got ready to leave the house, having already filled the car with his suitcase and a bag of gifts for his mum and another for his estranged wife.

"Just remember that you're pretending to be happily married, you aren't really." Robyn warned before she enveloped her step-brother in a hug. "Have a good Christmas." She said as she handed him another bag, with presents for Greta, Zoe and Max inside from Robyn and Lofty.

"I'll text you."

When the doorbell rang, she wasn't quite ready to go yet. Zoe Hanna sat in the middle of her living room floor, surrounded by wrapping paper as she tried to make the gifts in front of her look perfect. Sighing as she got up and looked at the mess, she still made her way to the door and let Max up after warning him not to look at anything in the living room. For this Christmas she'd gone all out, convinced somewhere inside that this Christmas could be the making or the breaking of the couple affectionately called Zax by their colleagues.

"Are you going to be long Zoe?" He asked as he grabbed himself a glass of Coke, all the time making sure that he kept his back to the living room.

"I don't think so, I've done the ones for your mum but I just need to finish yours."

"You didn't need to bother, I've signed the ones that I bought for mum, from the both of us."

"Should I do the same?" She asked as she turned to face him and found that he was now staring at her.

"If you want." He answered non-committally. "Have you got a case that I can take out?"

After another hour, they were finally in the car and on their way towards Leeds. The car was filled with an awkward silence between the two inhabitants of the car, a silence which wasn't made much better by the Christmas songs playing on the radio. Zoe silently checked her emails for what seemed like the hundredth time in the half an hour that they'd been driving. Suddenly, the idea of what to come seemed like far too much and yet again she questioned whether she'd made the right decision.

"Are you sure you want me here?" Zoe finally asked, making Max jump slightly. For a moment he thought, and then answered.

"Yes." There was no need for him to expand, and the answer seemed to satisfy her until a familiar song began to play, what made it worse was Max turning the volume up.

 _Last Christmas, I gave you my heart  
But the very next day you gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone  
I'll give it to someone special_

 _Once bitten and twice shy  
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye  
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?  
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me  
_

As Max sang along, she felt her heart break, the seemingly innocent song brought back the memories of the night she ruined her marriage before it had even started.

"Zoe, we have 3 and a half hours in the car. It's going to seem like a lot longer if you sit in silence the whole time." Max told her as he stopped singing just as it came to the chorus again.

"What are we doing Max?"

"We are in the car, driving up to Leeds to spend Christmas with my mum."

"You hate me though and honestly I can't blame you, have you thought about how this is going to work?" Zoe asked as she shifted her gaze from where the grass banks that they kept passing to Max.

"Zoe, I don't hate you." He told her as he reached for her hand, while he kept his eyes on the road. "I hate what you did and what do you mean?"

"We'll have to share a bed, we'll have to act like a couple again."


End file.
